Dimly Lit

Even the simplest things have stories to tell. G.K. Chesterton once wrote an essay entitled, “A Piece of Chalk.” I am not nearly deluded enough to consider myself Chestertonian, but if it is true, as I believe, that God is found in many ways most profoundly in the most mundane circumstances of life, then surely I should have an abundance of material.

It is normal, I suppose, for us to want or expect to encounter God in extraordinary ways. Moses’ burning bush or the visions of the prophets, extraordinary encounters with the God of all creation should call for nothing less. Ezekiel’s vision sounds almost like some drug induced trip while the gospel of John starts right off with soaring cosmic language and takes off from there with amazing stories of miracles throughout Jesus’ ministry.

What I find difficult to remember at times is how much of the Bible deals with everyday life. Birth and death, generations of families, conflict within the early churches, and the struggles of parents with their children and vice versa.

It is these everyday situations into which God wants to speak. It may be that we just need to slow ourselves down a little in order to hear Him. It is the still, small voice that is most common to this world, not the flaming cherubim and seraphim.

“A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time.”

Annie Dillard

Tomorrow is Monday.

I have now been unemployed for 4 months. In the beginning I thought of this as a great opportunity for me to pursue what I’ve wanted to do for years – writing. I would have more time to blog, to work on essays and stories that I’ve started in the past and never finished. More time to read and develop ideas. More time and energy to think.

What I didn’t take into account was the creeping sludge that begins to ooze into your brain when you suddenly find yourself without a schedule and without anyone really telling you what needs to get done each day. I know that there are some that naturally gravitate toward a personal schedule. These are the people that love planners and calendars and personal productivity. I don’t, shall we say, find myself naturally drawn to those things.

As a result time starts to just slip by and run together. I have great plans. I have 3 businesses that I’d like to start. My window cleaning business has gotten temporarily derailed due to a shoulder injury. My web site maintenance and design business and my freelance writing, well… yeah… that’s sort of what I’m talking about as far as the mind ooze goes. I find it hard to get going. I have writer’s block that I imagine rivals what the Mongols would see when they rode up to the Great Wall of China. And so far no Ghengis Khan of an idea has arisen to unite the tribes and find a way through that barrier. Sure there are ideas of things to write about, but the blank page rises up in front of me and I can see no way around or through.

So, here I sit. My little blog has been neglected and my mind oozes lethargy. Perhaps if I begin to shoot little arrows like this out on a regular basis, the great wall will eventually be breached and words will flow more easily. Perhaps I will even be motivated to keep a more rigid schedule in order to get things done. Perhaps.

We were listening to Justin Roberts CD, Meltdown on the way to the museum at the Arch today and this song cracked me up -

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It definitely fits the nearly daily experience around here.

And kudos to Justin Roberts for putting out kids music that parents can enjoy!

This was done a while ago.

Moleskine and Parker Jotter

I am still, occasionally, trying my hand at sketching. It is a nice exercise for me, helps me to focus on something and take my mind off of other things. I started this last night during a leaders meeting at our church.

Done in my wonderfully pretentious Moleskine using a Parker Jotter.

The slow blog manifesto.

Unemployment is truly a strange beast. Collectors start calling because bills are not being paid, Paying attention to the news is just depressing because all you hear is how bad the economy is and how many people are losing their jobs. Time seems to do weird things because days just drift by without anything being accomplished. And yet, I’m as happy as I’ve been in a long time.

I think that says two, maybe three things. First, I need to make a career change. I’ve disliked my work for years and quite frankly, it’s not a very good fit for my personality. Project management needs a type A personality; detailed, driven, timeline and schedule oriented. I’m none of those. Yes, a good project manager should also be a people person and able to coordinate and motivate individuals without any actual power, but if dealing with the details is a struggle, then project management will be a struggle.

I was always incredibly drained at the end of the day from trying to force myself to notice and pay attention to all of the little pieces of information that needed to be controlled and tracked. Things often slipped through the cracks and depression became a part of my life for years. About the only time I would become excited about my job was when I was asked to take part in some sort of big picture, vision building project - that didn’t happen very often. All of this leads me to believe that, while I’ve been thankful for the paychecks over the past 10 years, I need to move my career in a different direction. This seems like a good opportunity to do just that.

The second thing it says is that I have an awesome family. My wife is incredibly supportive and encouraging about this being a time to reflect and figure things out in order to make a change. My kids are fun and I’ve had a blast spending more time with them, playing and seeing them during the day. It’s hard that this has happened at Christmas time because I want to give all of them the world, but they are all very understanding and generous.

And third? I am seeing more and more clearly that my Father in heaven is truly sovereign and full of grace and mercy. He has provided for us in amazing ways through the kindness and generosity of friends as well as by giving us peace and joy during a difficult time.

So for now I will continue to look for a job, even in project management if necessary but more than that I will be looking for a career move that will take me in a different direction. I will love my family. And I will seek to know Jesus more and more. If you read this and think of it, I covet prayers for wisdom, direction, and continued peace.

The first appointment of this new post-partisan president? None other than Chicago representative and former Clinton hack, Rahm Emanuel. This is a guy that another Democrat, Paul Begala described as “a cross between a hemorrhoid and a toothache”.

John Piper has a terrific post at the Desiring God site regarding Christians and voting. It is easy to get caught up in the present and momentary in all areas of life and politics is no different. Piper’s exhortation is to follow the same principles set out in 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 in the area of voting:

The appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who
have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though
they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not
rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who
deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the
present form of this world is passing away. (1 Corinthians 7:29-31)

In others words, by all means do it, but only as if you’re not doing it. Confused? Read all of Piper’s post, it is an excellent reminder.