Dimly Lit

I would just like to say - and now it is going to be out there for the whole world so do with it what you will people! - it really sucks to have to fill out forms for new insurance at a new job. It doesn’t suck because of the painful red tape ridiculous bureaucracy. It sucks because I have to write down that, yes, I take a prescription drug because I am pretty depressed. I need a pill to help me function in a semi- normal fashion.

Among friends and heck even casual acquaintances I really have no problem talking about how thankful I am for those pills, Sertraline is my drug of choice by the way. But to write it out for my employer and a faceless bureaucracy at the insurance company to see is, for some reason very uncomfortable.

So there you have it. It’s a Brave New World.

I first posted about this guy back in 2006. He’s still going strong, and he still makes me smile. Thanks to the Thinklings for reminding me and bringing a smile today.

Where the Hell is Matt?

I’ve signed up for the Twitter feed of the ESV’s verse of the day. It’s nice to see it pop up on my screen at work and, for at least a moment refocuses my attention on Christ.

Today, the verse has stuck with me and banged around inside my head and heart. The verse for today is Psalm 32:8 -

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

What the heck does that mean? That’s what I want so desperately, instruction on the way I should go, but…what does it really look like?

So I pulled up the entire Psalm - it’s fairly short so I’m just going to put the whole thing here:

32:1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up [2] as by the heat of summer. Selah

5 I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
7 You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

A very cursory reading of this seems to indicate that the speaker changes between verses 7 and 8. For the first 7 verses the speaker is acknowledging his sin and his need for forgiveness and redemption. He exhorts his fellow man to do the same and offer prayers to God that they might be surrounded with ’shouts of deliverance’.

Then, at least it seems to me, the tone changes. Now the speaker is offering instruction and counsel. This, to me seems like it is God’s response saying ‘Look, I can forgive you and I am a hiding place, but let’s not stop there. Listen to me, do not be stubborn like horse or a mule, but follow where I lead.’

So with all of that, my question is the same it has been for years and years. How do we know when it is God that seems to be leading us in the way we should go as opposed to my own selfish, egotistical will that is trying to make itself sound like God?

I struggle with the idea of ‘calling’ as related to a career. Does God ‘call’ certain people to certain careers? Is being instructed and taught in the way we should go at least partly referring to what we should do to make a living in the day to day of this life? Or is it referring following Jesus with all of our heart, mind and strength no matter how we earn a living? How specific is God’s instruction?

I know I certainly feel more like the mule without understanding who is being dragged along with my haunches dug in. I want to understand. I want to be glad in the Lord and rejoice. I want to believe, Lord help my unbelief.

Here’s a post worth spending a little time thinking about. It’s from Michael Spenser’s new home on the web called Jesus Shaped Spirituality, the post is ‘Pray at the Pump: A Meditation on Jesus and Economic Discipleship‘.

This is the imagination and mindset of American Christians: God is
committed to our lives as we imagine them. He is committed to the gas,
the SUVs, the economics, the houses, the conveniences, the investments,
the stability, the politics, the military and the religion that
maintain the lives we lead.

Micheal’s encouragement to us? That evangelicals need to learn to embrace poverty. To look at the affluence we’ve surrounded ourselves with in our homes, our cars and our churches and ask if Jesus is really all that interested in our economics.

Two years ago today I had the privilege of witnessing a miracle. The birth of a child is a miracle that happens every moment of every day around the world, but to be there, in the same room watching your son be born… unless you’ve experienced it I don’t know how I could begin to explain.

Jack weighed in at a hefty 10 lbs. 9 oz. at birth and seemed to be a very healthy baby boy. Just a few hours later though a nurse came in to check his pulse and breathing. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen. His heart was beating too fast. They needed to take him to do some tests.

Jack had to spend the next few days with various wires and tubes stuck around his body in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as his lungs apparently struggled to catch up with his size. He was a giant in a NICU full of premies that barely tipped the scales at 2 lbs.

Possibly the most difficult time during that period was the day Melissa had to go home and Jack had to stay. It wasn’t supposed to work like that - he was supposed to come home with us. He was supposed to see his room and get licked by the dog. He was supposed to come home.

After a few days, days that seemed like an eternity at the time, Jack did indeed come home with us. Now, 2 years later he’s running, laughing, jumping, and is a generally destructive force that can sometimes be slowed, but never stopped.

He has taken markers to our walls, destroyed several books, and likes to play with and occasionally eat the dog food. He climbs onto tables, pulls CDs and DVDs out of their cases calls popsicles ‘popsilaylies’.

We have to wrap duct tape around his diaper at naptime and bedtime or he’ll rip open his diaper spread urine filled little polymer beads all over the place - or worse.

He adores his big brother and big sister and tries so hard to do whatever he sees them doing.

He is healthy. He is a blessing. I am so thankful for this day.

Happy Birthday, Jack.

The fingertips on my left hand itch and tickle at the same time. My guess is that that is a good sign, it means callouses might be starting to form which in turn means that my fingertips won’t start hurting after just 15 minutes of trying to form chords on a guitar.

I have a red guitar. It’s really nothing like the one pictured. It was actually my brothers when he was a young teen and wanted to be a rock star. My guess is that it was purchased at Sears back in the day, this would have been 30 years ago - before the age of Wal-Mart was ushered in and ‘big box’ retailers ruled the day.

Now I have the guitar and neither my brother nor I have become rock stars. But I like to strum and my wife and kids seem to enjoy it when I do, so I’m trying again to learn a few simple songs. And now my fingers kind of itch and tickle all day long.

That’s really all I have to say about it. Nothing profound. Just that.

Because everybody else is doing it… Here’s my blog Wordled (at least part of it):

Let me start by saying that I’m feeling a little ADD today, a fact I even posted in my Facebook profile. By the way, social networking and the Internet in general are either the greatest things ever for someone like me, or they are the worst thing that could ever have happened. All that to say, if I post a bunch of stuff that is totally random and doesn’t really make much sense it’s because I’m pretty easily distracted and - ooh look, Curt Schilling is needing surgery.

What I really wanted to say, as alluded to in the title to this post, is that there are some people in this world that are just simply cool. I’d nominate Tom Waits as one of the all time coolest people on the planet, but honestly, right up there would be someone like David Crowder as well. Check out this short article he wrote for Catalyst. Here’s a quick quote to whet your appetite:

John is an elderly black man who has no home. He is one of Waco’s
homeless. He is my neighbor. He comes around and wants to pick up the
sticks in my yard. He says, “David, I’ll just get these sticks out of
your yard if you can spare a few dollars.” We do this often, rid the
yard of sticks. It’s really helpful – you can imagine – the ability to
move about your yard without the obstruction of sticks.

That’s right folks and the word comes straight from the horses mouth so to speak. NASA has been Twittering the progress of the new Mars lander. You can follow it at Twitter.com/marsphoenix which is really cool in and of itself!

Fourteen hours ago this tweet appeared:

Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!! about 14 hours ago from web

So we have several cool things going on here all at once:

1. NASA is twittering
2. There is ice on Mars
3. Somebody from NASA used the word w00t!

At times I believe that I am a creative soul trapped in a very unresponsive body. I’ll write more about that later including the influence of 1950s conservative Wheaton, IL and my natural Scandinavian tendency to stuff my hands in my pockets during worship rather than clap or (heaven forbid) raise them in worship!

Meanwhile, I stumbled on this list of ten steps to boost creativity. I really like #7:

Don’t watch TV. Experiments performed by the JPB Creative Laboratory show that watching TV causes your brain to slowly trickle out your ears and/or nose. It’s not pretty, but it happens.