Dimly Lit

I’ve signed up for the Twitter feed of the ESV’s verse of the day. It’s nice to see it pop up on my screen at work and, for at least a moment refocuses my attention on Christ.

Today, the verse has stuck with me and banged around inside my head and heart. The verse for today is Psalm 32:8 -

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

What the heck does that mean? That’s what I want so desperately, instruction on the way I should go, but…what does it really look like?

So I pulled up the entire Psalm - it’s fairly short so I’m just going to put the whole thing here:

32:1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up [2] as by the heat of summer. Selah

5 I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
7 You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

A very cursory reading of this seems to indicate that the speaker changes between verses 7 and 8. For the first 7 verses the speaker is acknowledging his sin and his need for forgiveness and redemption. He exhorts his fellow man to do the same and offer prayers to God that they might be surrounded with ’shouts of deliverance’.

Then, at least it seems to me, the tone changes. Now the speaker is offering instruction and counsel. This, to me seems like it is God’s response saying ‘Look, I can forgive you and I am a hiding place, but let’s not stop there. Listen to me, do not be stubborn like horse or a mule, but follow where I lead.’

So with all of that, my question is the same it has been for years and years. How do we know when it is God that seems to be leading us in the way we should go as opposed to my own selfish, egotistical will that is trying to make itself sound like God?

I struggle with the idea of ‘calling’ as related to a career. Does God ‘call’ certain people to certain careers? Is being instructed and taught in the way we should go at least partly referring to what we should do to make a living in the day to day of this life? Or is it referring following Jesus with all of our heart, mind and strength no matter how we earn a living? How specific is God’s instruction?

I know I certainly feel more like the mule without understanding who is being dragged along with my haunches dug in. I want to understand. I want to be glad in the Lord and rejoice. I want to believe, Lord help my unbelief.